A burden of the educated


Ooooooh, you guys. I’m getting tired. 5 years into his phd program, this semester Joel is a full time grad student. More than full time, actually. He found that if he was able to cram 4 classes into this semester (full time students do 3), that he could get all the classes he needs out of the way and start his disertaion much earlier than anticipated. This is all good.

But we’ve been doing this now for four months and I am over it. Two night classes a week. And the next night he’s not home until 6. For this mama who is a little obsessive about her family eating dinner together that is HARD. The nights he has class, Jonah and I get home from our day at 5:30 – yuck! Then, chaos ensues for 15 minutes while I let our 6 year old-recently adopted-still adjusting- freaks out when we get home-cute little dog outside, get dinner on the table, while Jonah is starving and whining. So he watches a tv show (whatever man) while I get ‘er done.

I went into this whole thing intentionally choosing to have imperfection be okay. You know what? We grab fast food on those nights sometimes. Or we eat one of the following: summer sausage and cheese, cereal, frozen chicken nuggets or peanut butter sandwhiches. My house is only clean-ish at any given point. And I’m over it. My sanity is worth more than any of that. Jonah will be okay if, for 6 months out of his childhood, he and his mom ate peanutbutter sandwhiches together, while is dad worked really hard on our behalf.

Though I will say this: I’m pretty sure we hit a low point this morning. Jonah’s breakfast consisted of canned fruit and a piece of Halloween candy. Wow. Joel took his written exams this weekend. Jonah and I went to my sister’s house so Joel could take care that business. 15 hours later, he was 70% done…and will be able to turn it in by the 10 day limit. Consequentally, THIS HOUSE IS A DISASTER. And WE HAVE NO FOOD. Hence the awesome breakfast.

Jonah is home from school today because he got a piece of a paper towel stuck BEHIND his eye yesterday and we have to go to the eye doctor to make sure his eye is not scratched all over from it <–I am not making this up. So I'm home too. I'm sad for him, but happy for me. I need this day. I need to recoup, take care of my home, do my laundry. And get groceries after Joel gets home. I hear there's not a lot of people in the grocery store after 9pm on a weeknight…

My husband. He's brilliant, you guys. He's working so hard; and at the same time, he's in his sweet spot so it's partially easy for him. But 4 grad classes would be a challenge for Einstein himself. Joel is being challenged in a precious way. "I've just got to be okay with getting a 'B' on an test this semester", he said recently; processing a grade he recieved on an exam. "You're precious", I responded. This is the dude who got a 4.0 his entire life…high school, undergrad, masters. The whole lot of it.

This is a fake complaint…I know that. This is a result of living in a country that allows one to actually attend school, for a career of their choosing. This is the result of a person knowing exactly what they want to do with their life; and having the courage to go out and make it happen. This is the result of a couple who both have jobs, and a family, and a home. The result of a woman who is so used to the presence of her partner that she misses him tremendously when he is not around. Gah…sometimes perspective is annoying. Am I right??


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