The Caroline Project

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If we had a girl, we would have named her Caroline.  Hands down no other name sounds as good as Caroline Light.  The Caroline Project is our grief in action.

After the third miscarriage,  Joel got a new tattoo.  It’s of three waves with one of our theme verses:  Isaiah 43:2 “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”  You see, he didn’t want to forget…

The Caroline Project is kind of like that.  It’s to give honor to this place we’re in… We thought we’d have another child by now, or at least be pregnant.  We had anticipated having to build a place in our budget for a new baby.  But we’re not pregnant, and we’re not going to be.  We got to thinking…what if that place in our budget stayed?  What if good could come of it?  So for the next year, anytime we spend extra money on something for Jonah, we will be setting aside the same amount as if we would have spent it on Caroline too.  At the end of each month, we get to donate the total amount to a charity or cause of our choosing.

This coincides with God totally increasing our awareness of how we take care of the marginalized both locally and globally.  Or to be completely honest, our lack of taking care of the “unseen” people in the world.  I’m telling you, in the midst of our mess, God has been placing this desire in our hearts to act on behalf of those who may not be in a place to act for themselves…So this project is a way we can do that.

A part of me hesitates to write about it because the Bible is very clear on giving publicly.  Matthew 6: 2-4 states that “when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others.  Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.  But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret.  Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”   But I know our motives, and they are not to bring glory to us.  Our greatest desire in this life we’re living is to bring glory to God- that’s why we’re doing this…

open book

An example of what we’re doing.

closed book

Seriously, is this not the cutest notebook ever?  (Ever since Jonah came along, I have this huge fondness for whales).

So thanks for reading.  I hope we’re all inspired.

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10 thoughts on “The Caroline Project

  1. Jackie C.

    Beautiful idea! Maybe send a child to camp?
    I love that you’re sharing about your other babies. People didn’t used to talk about it much and it’s tough to go through thinking you’re alone in it. Just the relief to know someone else understands your pain. I can only recall 2 women telling me their gut feelings and both times it was like a pressure release valve. And both gave me good insights into dealing with my pain

  2. Yep, we’re all inspired.

    This is so powerful…and painful. That constant reminder of “what might have been” must feel like it’s crushing you at times. But I can also see how these acts of selflessness could be wonderfully healing. That’s my prayer for you.

  3. Pingback: our beautiful mess

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